Naughty by Nature

It’s time to pull down the blinds because coming up is some of the biggest, hottest, nastiest sex since wild things first did the wild thing. There’s no animal more adorable than the cuddly bunny. You may even have had one as a pet, but your parents may have never told you that your childhood friend was a supercharged sexual athlete. Just one in ten wild rabbits makes it to their first birthday so nature has designed them to be enthusiastic breeders.

As soon as she has given birth a doe is ready to welcome a willing buck. The buck has his choice of several females and in one quick mating he can deliver around three hundred million sperm. But why should animal sex be so wild? We’ll find the answers in the boudoirs of the birds and the bees and everything in between.

For humans getting to first base takes sex appeal. For some it’s good looks, for others it’s brains but in the wild it can take something really special to arouse some animal attraction. In many cases it takes a little tenderness, a little charm and a steady stream of urine… that’s right urine. It’s often essential for turning competitors off or partners on. Its powerful sexual hormones are used liberally to signal both male and female intentions.

If you’ve got a thing about personal freshness than stay away from hollows where happy hippos wallow. Dominant males intimidate their rivals and impress the ladies by winding up their tails and showering dung everywhere.

But to meet the hottest lovers in the animal kingdom just hone in on the nearest forest fire. Finding a prospective partner is never easy. We solved this problem with the invention of the singles bar.

Melanophila beetles meet up in blazing forests. Fire destroys resin that protects trees from hungry larvae so the adults use infrared to spot a blaze from sixty-five kilometers away. After a hunk of burning love they lay their eggs in the smoking embers. We tend to prefer our smoke after sex.

Many creatures use a visual signal to attract attention. A fancy costume and a few of the right moves can work for even the simplest of creatures. But if fancy plumage rule had mattered the male Bowerbird would be a lonesome loser. Instead he relies on the power of the bower. Those forest floor works of art are designed and decorated to catch a girls eye. Since art is such a matter of taste Every Bowerbird species works in a different style.